ostomy

I walked in on one patient (IP psych unit) having relations with the other patient’s ostomy. The patient with the ostomy was reading a book, so I could see head, hands, and that they were clothed. Other patient back to me, pants around ankles, pumping away. When it dawned on me what was happening…

Turns out they were hoarding the 4 oz foil top juice grape juice cups and letting them ferment. A little barter had occurred and an agreement reached. The charting on this is probably the best nursing note I have ever written.